-Don't put that up to your head. -Agent O.
How's your day been, Agent K?
Fair to middling.
How are things going?
Very good, thank you.
Hey, you saw her like an hour ago.
I need cleanup and containment at Cosmic Lanes.
Listen, I got a dead Parlaxian.
Now Roman was a Byvoid, correct me if I'm wrong...
-...from the same planetary grouping? -A system in the Triangulum Galaxy...
...wiped out by Boglodites.
Wasn't the third planet--?
-Glamouria? -Glamouria.
Thank you, Miss O.
I know where Boris is headed to next.
You were close, slick. It's not a factory, it's the Factory.
Look, if Boris turns out to be here, I'm gonna kill him...
-...I need my gun. -No deal.
I've been an agent for 1 4 years.
Which means I'm the senior agent on this case. Now, I hate to pull rank...
...but I am instructing my junior agent...
...that's you, to give me my gun right now. That's an order.
No, no, no, space gun.
You're welcome.
I didn't say thank you.
For such an ungainly species, they've thrived on Earth.
I was an agent for three years...
...before I realized all models were aliens.
Found out the hard way.
Password?
Hey, look, funky '60s dude, we don't have a lot of time.
Janis Joplin.
Is there anybody here who's not an alien?
Very nice.
Blink. That's good.
Look in the camera.
Is that Andy Warhol?
Yep.
Excuse me, Mr. Warhol, could we have a minute?
Now is not a good time. This is a be-in.
Just a few...
...questions.
No questions. No answers.
Just being.
We have an urgent matter to discuss with you...
...regarding one of your party guests.
Why don't you come back...
...next week, after the happening...
...has happened.
Sorry, Mr. Warhol. You like talking slow. We got stuff to do.
I've got a planet to save.
You're distressing. Everything...
...about you upsets me.
Damn it, K! Are you trying to blow my cover?
Agent W, your cover is safe.
Whoa, Andy Warhol is one of us?
Safe?
You out of your mind? I'm so out of ideas...
...I'm painting cans and bananas for chrissakes.
Actually, Mr. Warhol, I gotta tell you, I love your work.
Oh, thank you.
Who's the dumb-ass?
How about a little professional courtesy here?
-Dumb-ass. -Say it again.
-Want me to? -I dare you.
Dumb-ass.
-Agents. -I have no problem...
...pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.
What?
Why are you looking at me?
Oh, all right. You know what? Agent K...
...you see what information you can get from Agent W...
...and I'll go case the perimeter.
-That work for everybody? -Go do that.
-How about that? -Oh, cute.
-Okay. -Very nice.
Someone forget his nap?
Hey, how you doing?
Chilling.
Who's that guy?
Don't tell me he's your new partner.
Actually, he's my old partner. He traveled back from the future--
Stop, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
Andy, Yoko's here.
Yoko's here.
Tell her that I'm filming this man eating a hamburger.
It's transcendent.
All right, now the pickle.
What are you doing on my turf?
Tracking a killer. Boglodite.
We believe he's gonna hit here next, a Glamourian.
Glamourian? Right solar system, wrong planet.
He's gotta be after the Archanan.
Archanans are extinct.
Apparently not. One washed ashore last week.
The whole Roswell circuit's all abuzz about it.
Alien unicorn. Last of its species.
His name's Griffin.
Griffin the Archanan.
How's it going?
Going? How's it going? That depends. For me, personally, things are good.
Unless we're in the future...
...where the muscle boy argues with his girlfriend.
She storms off and bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms...
...who dumps the tray on the sailors on leave.
A shoving match breaks out.
They crash into the table. In which case, I gotta move my plate.
Or it's the future where the pastrami sandwich I'm eating...
...causes me gastric distress.
Thankfully, your friend offers the antacids he carries...
...in his right pocket, so good. I'll be good.
Except in the future where I have to leave in two minutes...
...before he has a chance to offer me the antacids...
...so on the whole, I'd have to say not good. I am not good.
But that depends.
K!
How will we find this guy?
What am l, a schmuck?
He's here?
"Here" is a relative term. He's a fifth dimensional being.
They can live in and visualize an infinite set...
...of time-space probabilities simultaneously.
Sounds like fun. Good work.
Whoa, whoa, K, K, K.
You gotta fake my death, okay?
I can't listen to sitar music anymore.
All right, I'll see what I can do. I'll talk to X.
K, I can't tell the women from the men.
May I see your watch?
Oh, it is 7:1 8.
No, no, your other watch, the one your father gave you.
How do you know about my father's watch?
Oh, dear.
This is the one where Roman is dead...
...and the gentleman at the bowling alley. So much death.
Such an infinitesimally small chance for success.
K!
Griffin, right?
We're here--
Because of Boris.
We think he's coming--
To kill me. He'll be here in minutes...
...unless we're in...
...the future where he made the lights...
...and is about...
...to shoot from the door...
...in which case we're all dead.
Good, that was a close one.
K, I need a space gun.
The Boglodites...
...consume any planet in their path.
Mine, Roman's, the Parlaxians'.
I tried to stop them, but if we stop them here, if we deny them Earth...
...we can stop them. They'll starve before...
...they reach the next planet.
Sixty-three seconds.
How do we do that? Stop them?
What?
Sorry. I have something for you.
A gift. It can protect you.
I had to hide it from Boris, but if you find me again...
...I'll give it to you.
Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It's a real miracle!
What do you mean? What miracle?
Thirty seconds. I have to go.
No, we got you.
Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.
-Okay. -Twenty seconds.
All right.
We got it, relax.
If your watch is broken and I have gastric--
Fly! Find your place in the world!
Oh, dear.
Boris is coming through that door...
...in 1 2...
...1 1, 1 0--
Wait!
Did you have chocolate milk?
Yes.
Cindy.
K!
-Griffin! -Got him.
Damn it!
I'm good, I'm good.
What you got?
Damn it! We had him!
Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.
First of all, my name is J, okay?
It's not "son," it's not "slick" and it damn sure ain't no "Cochise."
I'm not gonna relax because we're running out of time...
...and there's an invasion coming.
You're not really recognizing my voicial intensity.
But there was one guy who could help.
Hey, Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin?
Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K?
He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we do, that's no bueno.
We need pie.
-What? -My granddaddy always said:
"lf you got a problem you can't solve...
...it helps to get out of your head." Pie.
-Pie? -Yeah.
Your granddaddy, heavyset man?
-A little bit. -Yeah, you know what?
We've been doing smart stuff:
We've been following clues, doing police work.
It might be time we do something stupid.
Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing.
Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie.
Let's go get dumb-ass pie.
Sounds good.
Have any specials?
He'll have what he always has after he reads the menu for 1 0 minutes...
...and asks about specials.
A slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar.
I'll have the strawberry-rhubarb.
It's my last meal, I'm gonna splurge.
World-class serial killer out there and we're having pie.
What do you do in your spare time, stretch?
See, I sense you're not embracing the concept here.
Pie don't work unless you let it.
I'm gonna let it.
And you say we don't talk?
You go ahead. Ask me any question. Anything you want.
As long as it doesn't have to do with the case. Just let her rip.
What's up with you and O?
Me and O?
Yeah, you and O.
All right, all right.
All right, this is it.
A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician.
Mick Jagger?
He's in this British band, the Rolling Stones.
Rings a bell.
We believed he was on the planet to breed with Earth women.
So I was in London and that's when I met O.
Just smart. Funny. A great smile.
And we find ourselves in this pub, which is a bar, all right?
Warm beer and the worst food you ever ate.
We just played darts till the sun came up.
Neither of us wanted to leave.
What the hell happened to you, man?
I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.
Come on, what about you, slick? In the future, you got yourself a girl?
I got you.
I cannot believe this, freaking New York Mets.
Total losers!
It's a rough time to be a Mets fan.
Tell me about it. Never gonna catch the Cubs.
That's funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm serious.
I'm sure.
Look, three months from now, your buddies down there...
...are gonna be calling them the Amazing Mets...
...and the Miracle Mets.
What?
What you got there, hoss?
The Archanan said, "It's amazing! It's a miracle! I'll see you at the game."
I know where he is.
Told you to trust the pie.
If Griffin's here for a game, he's either too early or too late.
He's here. We just gotta find him before Boris does.
It's time to give you your things back...
...partner.
You get some pie in you, you get all mushy.
I'm just tired of carrying your stuff.
Come on now! All right! Let's go...
...Mets!
Let's go, Mets! Let's go...
-...Mets! Let's go, Met-- -Griffin?
You're just in time!
Unless this is the one where Robinson bad-hops it past third, it's almost over.
Are we missing something?
The game.
So this is how you see things? This is amazing.
It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But it has its moments.
This game doesn't happen till October.
It's always October...
...and November and March.
So many futures, and all real. Don't know which will coalesce.
Until then, they're all happening.
Like this one, it's my favorite moment in human history.
All the things that had to converge for the Mets to win the World Series.
They were in last place every single season until they won it all.
You said you had a gift.
That baseball...
...thrown for the last out of game five, manufactured in '62 by Spalding...
...of Chicopee, Massachusetts, was aerodynamically flawed...
...due to the horsehide being improperly tanned...
...because the tanner's wife left him...
...for a Puerto Rican golf pro--
The gift?
Oh, yes, of course. In the box.
It's the surprise. To protect the Earth.
It's a shield.
Shield.
Archanan. Arc Net. You put up the Arc Net.
-How? -When that ball is pitched to...
...Davey Johnson...
...who became a player...
...because his dad couldn't find a football to give him for his birthday...
...it hits...
...his bat two micrometers too high...
...popping out to Cleon Jones...
... who would've been born Clara, a statistical...
...typist, if his parents didn't have an extra glass of wine that night...
...before going to bed.
A miracle...
...is what seems impossible but happens anyway.
I lost my planet.
I don't want you to lose yours.
It'll take a miracle, but if you pull this off...
...you'll be my new favorite moment...
...in human history.
Oh, dear.
I forgot to see this one coming.
Damn it!
Have these in the future?
No.
Get on.
Keep gyro settings at zero gain.
Balance pitch and yaw with bursts on the center stalk...
...between 80 and 1 00 psi.
I didn't understand...
...any of that!
-Gyro at zero gain. -lt is.
Pitch and yaw with short bursts on the center stalk.
I did!
Between 80 and 1 00 psi!
Got it.
The Arc Net! Give it to me!
This isn't the one where you get it!
-All right there, chief? -Hell, yeah.
It'd be better with four wheels!
Two is, like, my minimum.
What happens if Boris gets the Arc Net?
Boglodite invasion, total destruction of Earth!
The box!
Good boy.
We gotta stop this guy!
I've been trying!
You haven't been trying?
Hey, slick.
In the future, we ever do the Texas two-step?
Yes, sir!
Did you get him?
Give me a sec.
Is he dead?
Negative.
He got away.
I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.
I feel younger already.
You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh.
I'd kill you right now, if I didn't value my own life.
-Who are you? -Look at you.
Every mistake I've ever made, just waiting to happen.
What happened to my arm?
You lose it, shot off by a human.
No human could defeat me.
You spend the next 40 years in prison, chained up like an animal.
No prison can hold me!
They built one especially for us, on the moon.
No human has been to the moon...
...so they cannot have built it there already.
Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that if you just listen to me!
You were defeated! You let it get shot off!
That wasn't me, that was you!
What's your plan?
Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.
-Kill anyone who tries. -Good plan.
Didn't work.
With my help...
...we'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K...
...the invasion will be successful...
...and we'll get to keep both...
...of our ar--! Stop...
...staring at it!
Listen.
-You all right? -Yeah. Thank you for saving my life.
It's what we do.
You still have the Arc Net?
When you're being hunted by Boris the Animal...
...you get good at hiding things.
This will save your world.
Once it's outside the atmosphere, it gets...
...a whole lot bigger.
All you have to do is deploy it.
You mean in space? Well, how do you suppose we do that?
It's just one small step.
The moon launch.
Cape Canaveral.
July 1 6th, 1 969.
We got six hours to get to Florida.
Better get a move on, slick.
Wait, hold up.
Not us. I'm gonna do this one alone.
He has to be the--
Griffin.
What do you mean, alone?
I'm gonna go to Florida. You stay here.
I need you to trust me.
Trust you? I don't think so. Something you're not telling me, slick?
You're not going to Florida.
That ain't gonna happen, partner.
Look, K...
...please, I will not allow you to go to Florida.
Stop me.
You die there!
Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.
Boris kills you there.
That's what I'm here for.
That's what I came back to stop.
Oh, dear. We're in this one.
K...
...I saw the file, I looked at the report.
I said I told you everything--
That's for lying to me.
Look, I'm sorry, man!
That's for telling me the truth!
I'm trying to protect you...
...man!
The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lies.
He has to go to Cape Canaveral.
He must deploy the Arc Net as he did before.
There's no other way.
K is the only hope in saving Earth.
Can I save him?
Is there any future where I save his life?
Yes.
But where there is death...
...there will always be death.
According to you, I've done this before.
So we know it's possible.
If you're half the agent you say you are...
...you'll make sure I don't get killed doing it.
So are we partners? You tell me.
Let's go.
Agent K...
-...how are you? -I'm good.
Okay, group hug on the way to doing what we're doing.
This morning, man is about to launch himself on a trip to the moon...
...with the expectation of landing there.
Look, I gotta ask you.
If we pull this off, fix things the way they were...
...O and l, are we...?
A wise man once told me...
...don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
-I said that, didn't l? -Yes, sir.
Here they are.
-What are they? -Jetpacks.
Jetpacks?
No, no, no. We're not doing jetpacks.
There's a reason we don't have these in the future.
K, we gotta drive.
Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan in five hours, chief.
Yeah, we can. The red button, standard issue in every MiB car.
Press the red button, goes into hyperdrive.
No red buttons yet, slick.
Come on, man.
Do you know...
...how to work this thing?
It's like with anything.
Just have to strap yourself in, hope for the best.
Isn't that right, Miss O?
Unfortunately, it is.
You ready, slick?
Let's get it.
This is gonna be interesting!
It's just minutes to the...
...historic launch of Apollo 1 1...
...with all going well.
I'm so glad this isn't one of the times we explode.
One of the times?
Oh, we got company.
The hell?
Is that a battery belt?
All right, I got it.
No, any reality that gets the shield deployed...
...is one where you tell the truth.
The truth?
The truth is the only path.
This is a restricted area!
Yes, sir, it is.
Good day, gentlemen. Great day for America, isn't it?
My name is Agent J. This is Agent K. That's Griff.
We're from a secret government organization...
...that polices and monitors alien activity on and off planet Earth.
Here's the thing.
We have this special little metal thingy...
...that Griff gave us that we have to get on top of that rocket...
...to prevent an alien invasion.
That worked.
-Like a charm. -Sir, Delta Gate. We have a problem.
Three trespassers. No lDs, but they've got weapons, sir.
Some kind I've never seen before.
What breed of fool do you have to be...
...to penetrate my site on the day of the most massive feat...
...attempted by mankind?
Watched by God, the population of the planet and my own...
-...firstborn! -Colonel?
Colonel, they had these.
They said they needed to put something on the rocket...
...for an invasion.
Thanks.
I got 1 0 minutes to launch.
If you pose a threat to that rocket, you tell me now and do not lie to me.
I told the truth last time.
Sir, this man came here from...
...the future to protect me...
...so I can attach a shield to the top of that rocket and save the world.
I need your help to do that.
Take them to the brig.
You're slipping, Griff.
Sir, if I may.
Corporal.
You men are no longer needed.
I'll take the prisoners.
-Sir, are you--? -Dismissed.
Follow me.
You did the future thing. What did you show him?
Only what he needed to see.
I have to go now.
What? No, no, no. Come on.
You don't need me anymore.
All right, Griff, don't start flipping on me.
When Boris' arm is taken, the past will be as it was. K will survive.
He will not know you were ever here.
All right. Arm gone, got it. Like a reset?
When that happens, go home. Leave.
You coming?
Yeah, all right!
Thanks, man. Hey, will I ever see you again?
Anything's possible.
Oh, Griff.
I can never bear to watch this part.
Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled...
...to set foot on the moon...
...on early Monday morning, Eastern Daylight Time.
Where's Griffin?
Doing his own thing.
Gentlemen.
This elevator will take you to the top.
T o get the Arc Net outside the atmosphere...
...you need to strap it to the escape rocket above the capsule!
You do not want to be...
...anywhere near this rocket when it takes off!
-Questions? -No. Thank you for this, colonel.
Some job you got there.
Hey, thanks a lot, bro.
What did Griff show you back there?
How important you are.
You and your partner.
If everything goes right the way we hope it does...
...I'm gonna end up getting out of here pretty quick...
...so I'm not gonna have a chance to say a proper goodbye.
If things go wrong, not gonna have a chance to, either.
So I guess win or lose, this is it.
I see why I recruited you.
You're a good man.
Good man.
Man, what the hell happened to you?
I told you, it still hasn't happened yet.
I'll take this one!
Naughty.
Get a pedicure if you get a second.
And liftoff.
Just passed the two-minute mark...
...in the countdown, and all is still go as we monitor our status board.
Astronauts report it feels good. Power transfer is complete.
Neil Armstrong just reported back it's been a smooth countdown.
Hey!
Boris, can you give me a hand?
Hey.
Hey!
You hear me calling you?
Boris the Animal!
Hey!
Boris the Animal!
It's just Boris!
You're gonna lose.
Let's agree to disagree.
Hey!
Boris the Animal!
Right.
Left.
You're gonna lose.
Let's agree to disagree.
Hey!
Boris the Animal!
Right.
Left. Left.
Right.
That's not possible.
Let's agree to disagree.
That's not possible!
K!
I win! I'm better than me!
That's my partner.
That's my partner!
If we call this in...
-...they'll scrub the launch. -I didn't see anything.
-Where's your partner? -He went home.
-How does that work? -You got me.
Come on!
Get down!
Bingo.
Man, that is some next-level stuff.
You ever want to see more...
...I know a top-secret organization that could use a man like you.
I wish I could.
Thank you.
I'll see you around, K.
Look out!
Go ahead.
Arrest me.
Not this time.
"Where there's death, there will always be death."
Daddy! Daddy!
Hey.
Hey, my name's K. What's your name?
James.
James? That's a nice name.
Where's my dad?
What have you got there? What is that?
My dad gave it to me.
We timed the launch.
Where is my daddy?
He....
He went to go do something very special.
And he wanted me...
...to stay here and take care of his best pal.
When is he gonna be back?
He....
James...
...if you look right here...
...I will tell you the only thing you ever need to know.
Your daddy is a hero.
My daddy is a hero?
-Want to take a walk with me? -Yes.
James?
You're late.
Sorry. Lost track of time.
How do you know that song?
Drink your coffee. We got work to do.
What do you know and what do you don't?
How do I know what I don't know?
That's a really good question. Did we go to Wu's last night?
Yeah.
Boglodites?
Extinct for 40 years.
Perfect. Did we talk on the phone last night?
You hung up on me.
Yeah, I did.
But that was because of all those secrets...
...the universe doesn't know about.
But...
...I've realized that...
...Iast night was a long...
...Iong time ago.
And, really, I just want to say thank you.
It's been my privilege.
You know, there's a really high possibility now...
...that I might know some things you don't know.
I doubt it.
I bet I know what went down with you and O.
She's a fine lady, but you know the rules.
There's no fraternizing amongst agents.
I think y'all might have fraternized a time or two.
This is my new favorite moment in human history.
Unless this is the one where K forgot to leave a tip.
Almost forgot.
That was a close one.